What you couldn't have.
And that's what I'm feeling right now, like something I thought I was breaking, was never mine to break in the first place. It's all on display, this sad attempt at ownership. I don't want to rent out my own life forever. But right now..it seems like this is all there is. So I write..and at least I know that those words, though used by millions of people, billions of times a day..are my own. Because the came from me in this chaotic (or cryptic, or sorrowful) fashion and I breathed something into it.
There's so much that isn't mine. But it's still all just one big burden. I should let it go. Leave it to whatever owns it to take it all back.
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