Thoughts about Night

Right now, I'm thinking about night as a fleeting breath against me. I need it's soothing touch but it never stays long enough. It is truly the only time when thinking comes naturally to me, when words are not so harsh and solid, but softer, gentler. I wish it would stay with me longer, but nothing in this world is permanent. So everytime I wake up, I let go, I exhale. And the night sheds itself and reemerges as day. This to me, is a sacrifice.

Wake Up

When I rose this morning, only darkness greeted me. But it silences the mind and so I allowed it. It's only when the sun rose that new worries rose with it. But at that moment, while the thin film of sleep still stuck to my skin, and night surrounded me, my mind was empty and everything was still ok.

You Can't Break

What you couldn't have.

And that's what I'm feeling right now, like something I thought I was breaking, was never mine to break in the first place. It's all on display, this sad attempt at ownership. I don't want to rent out my own life forever. But right now..it seems like this is all there is. So I write..and at least I know that those words, though used by millions of people, billions of times a day..are my own. Because the came from me in this chaotic (or cryptic, or sorrowful) fashion and I breathed something into it.

There's so much that isn't mine. But it's still all just one big burden. I should let it go. Leave it to whatever owns it to take it all back.

Overthinker.

I'm thinking that maybe I think too much.

There's a full fledged conversation started up there before I even part my lips.

Arguments rage up there and I can never counter it.

I'm battling my own self for control of my life,

My sanity.

But really all that ever comes out of me is silence.

I...

Wonder what it will take to win this?

Or...perhaps I'm just thinking too much?

The Future in the Sky

I wonder if the sky can tell our future?

If the black swirl of those clouds the oracle transformed?

I'd like to ask it questions

And have the stars answer me back.


I wonder if such a thing is possible?

Change

The world never stops moving does it?

You inhale air

And by the time you exhale, it has filled a whole new space.

Everything is movement.

I guess that is why it is natural for us to change.

Evolve

Transcend

Or whatever you want to call it.

I'm just shedding

Skin, clothes, hair

All of it recycled into something new.

I wonder what will become of all things lost to the constant?

Wandering Flowers

If I were the dandelion, and life the wind...where would those uprooted parts of me fly to? I'd like to say somewhere fresh and green, where I could prosper. How knows how far the wind would take me.

I know I would be scared. To fly where life wants you fly. It's so unsure. It's so scary to leave yourself open to chance. I would try to fight the uncertainty, but as a flower, delicate and still unknown on this Earth, you go where you seed happens to fly.

I admire those brave enough to wander.