Transcendental Meditation

I want to focus more on my well-being. Most days I feel like a carpet constantly being stepped on, my fringes faded and tattered. I feel like a shadow of myself. I've been getting angered much more easily lately. My patience has been wearing thin. Usually my patience is what I admire most about myself. My ability to deal with frustrating things in a calm manner made me proud. But now, I can barely deal with the bus arriving five minutes late without feeling so stressed and angry that I develop a headache.

I realize that I can't be happy when my emotions are so out of whack and my fuse is so short. I realize that I can't be a better person if I'm on the verge of snapping at someone who cuts in front of me on a line or if I glare at a person trying to make smalltalk with me. That's not who I am. So it felt like a sign when I opened the newspaper one day and read a short article about Transcendental Meditation. Apparently Jerry Seinfeld does it.

I was intrigued. 

It seems easy enough to do, dedicate twenty minutes of my time twice a day to sitting with my eyes closed. And it could help with my insomnia and stress.  I feel like it wouldn't hurt to try it. So I will. Perhaps it will help me find a clearer path to a happier, personal state. Perhaps it will help me reclaim my joy, my peace. At the least it will provide me with twenty minutes of quiet. I'd like that very much.

This Morning

Yesterday came to me like the swirl of this beating chaotic noise that I could neither stop nor quiet. It's aftershocks left me disheveled, not quite aware of myself or how to continue on.

But this morning, the world is covering me in such softness that I can only forget yesterday's troubles. I'm immersed in silence and I'm taking each breath more slowly than I ever would have.

I'm digging my feet into the ground and holding on today. Nothing will shift me off balance.