Dreaming Hours

There are certain times of the day that are meant for dreaming. Late at night is one of those times. That's when the world sleeps and your body is able to settle and your mind is allowed to drift. That's when all the thoughts that you are afraid to acknowledge at work or school or with friends comes drifting out and your finally able to decipher them.

Another time is right at daybreak, before noise pollutes the world and the air is still fresh and slightly chilled. This is when the sky is a ribbon of orange and blue and red and eyes are just beginning to open.

Those are my favorite times. It's when I feel most like myself. There's no one to speak to yet, no smiles to give or words to exchange or errands to run. Those times are simply for me. And I bask in the selfishness it provides me.  Maybe that's why I find it so hard to sleep. I'm waiting for that moment at night to finally cast off my shell and stretch and breathe. I don't want to miss it, so I forego sleep and pay the price in the morning as a groggily head to work.

Sometimes I wish things weren't so mundane. Sometimes I wish it wasn't always the monotonous rhythm of waking up, working, going home, sleeping and repeat. But There's stability in those actions that I crave because stability is safety in my eyes. Still, there are times I wonder what it would be like to get up every morning and experience something new. I new city, a new neighborhood, a new food. Something that wakes up the mind from the dull routine. Something that opens the eyes.

I often think of about what it would feel like to fall asleep in my home and wake up in a room situated in the Caribbean or the Greek Islands or something so unlike the things I'm used to. I would watch the sun rise and wake up this strange part of the world. I would eat foods that are nothing like the foods I eat at home. I would listen to the language and feel giddy from all the culture surrounding me.

I spend a lot of my dreaming hours thinking those thoughts about traveling and seeing the world. I think that's a sign that my mind and body craves something different, something that can only be found with a plane ticket and the name of a different country on it. But mainly I think about the things I would see, the images that will write itself into my mind. The stories I'd create.

And then I look at the time and realize that I need to get some sleep. And with my eyes closed I'd dream of things I barely remember in the morning.