Affirmation: You are the Dreamweaver.

I am a dreamer. I've always been this way. I remember in elementary school my teacher would write on my report card, "a bright student but spends a lot of time daydreaming". This was not a compliment. I found myself feeling embarrassed that she had noticed me in one of my reveries. They were intensely private things, not something you should be observing and I felt slightly violated that she not only saw me, but had the nerve to tell my parents about it.

They were not happy.

So I learned to keep my daydreaming under wraps. I'd focus on my book or on my pencil, faking a look of concentration too deep to be interrupted. Meanwhile my mind was miles and miles ahead of me, projecting a version of me that was cooler than the reality. This version of me saved the world and everyone wanted to be my friend. I'd snap back into focus when the teacher called my name, or if I felt her walking near. She never caught on. I understood that this was the way it had to be.

I learned to hide my dreams from others. They became secret things that only I knew about. I guarded them fiercely. I did this because they were insanely important to me. I did this because I was incredibly fragile. All it took was one word of displeasure and suddenly shame and guilt would flood through me. I didn't want to feel that way towards things that made me feel so good about myself. They were the only things I had.

I'd reserve the really big dreams for night. I'd fantasize about being this incredible heroine, unaware of my own power until I was put into a situation that forced me to act. Once the situation arose I'd bravely stand up and the people who I would save would look at me, some in confusion, others in awe as I faced whatever monster I had dreamed up that night. The monster would never be aware of my power. The monster would always laugh at insignificant me as I walked towards it, the wind blowing my clothes and hair (wind was central to my daydreams. What better way for a child to convey power?). It would always say, You child? You have come to face me? and I would respond with this power so blinding that it would catch the monster unaware. The people would suddenly understand that I was not some stupid little thing. I was important. I was worth something. And I'd end these dreams and slip into a sleep that only peaceful imaginings can bring.

It's taken me years to realize that all I wanted at those moments in my life was to feel like I mattered. My fantasies gave me something reality did not. It gave me a way to show that I had something to offer the world, that I was important. The monsters were not monsters at all, they were the embodiment off all the things in my life that made me feel small, made me feel insignificant and unimportant. I wanted to prove them wrong. And I did. In my daydreams, I always did.

Now as an adult I remember those fantasies and smile. I'd like to think that I'm equipped with a better understanding of who I am and the strength I possess. I've come to realize that as a child I was able to weave feelings of importance into my daily life, even if they were only met out in my imagination. Those daydreams were enough to fuel me for another day. They were the batteries in which I charged myself from, allowing me to withstand the bullies and the loneliness and the feelings of not quite fitting in. I was a weaver of positive dreams. I was able to make another me, another world where I was not the outcast. It's a power I still hold on to today. It helped me to survive.

To those of you who are perpetual dreamers who feel as if they will amount to nothing, or get you nowhere, I want to tell you this: there is great power in the dreams we cast. Don't take them for granted. Don't underestimate them. They came from you, a manifestation of your desires. Create them, build them. Guard them and let them grow. They are yours, and they are worthy. You are worthy.