Knots

I stare at them and wonder if this is symmetry. How can they fold into themselves that way? What does it mean? Sometimes I want to untie them, slowly unfurl what they are until I reach the center. I want to know what it is they try to hide.

I'm afraid of what I'll find.

Maybe it's a whole new way to see myself. Maybe right now I'm like that knot and I need to unravel myself, I need to expose what's hidden inside.

How does one begin the act of exposure? How do you cope with the vunerability of being seen?

It's a cloudy Tuesday morning and I'm bending and twisting myself until all you see is the intricate outline. There's something delicate inside. I'm afraid to let it be shown.

Creativity

There are times when I wake up and my heart sings. And it becomes this great pulsing desire to build something beautiful. It shines and I shine and I want to do something...meaningful. And so I write. Because it's a medium that my heart understands. And because it gives me great pleasure spilling words onto paper or screen. I don't regret what I write. Not often. Though there are times I blush or wonder, what made me write those things? But I love each creation. And I hope, in my heart of hearts, that it loves me.

For the past two mornings I've woken and my body has been aching to write and I see words in my head and I hear their voice in my soul and I want to let them go. This is how I know I'm ready to create again. Because something like that can't be forced. I never know what it is I will write. I don't even know if it will be deemed good by anyone who bothers to read. But it came from me. And I am what it is. An expression, deep, melancholy, thoughtful, joyful, sad, intuitive, sensitive, beautiful. And I accept each word as its own right to be.